How not to get permission to detect

[avalon]

Over the years I’ve had dozens or probably hundreds of request as how do you get  permission to detect on  farmland. This is the alternative version how Not too.

Make sure you have loads of tattoos on display, love and hate on your knuckles will do nicely.

Rings through your lip or nose, although the farmer has probably kept bulls at some stage, so he might  relate to these.

 Bang on his door early Sunday morning, and say  ‘’err mate can dig up some treasure on yer land’’.

Tell him you’ve fallen in love with one of his sheep.

Tell him your Paul the vexatious blogger with incredibly itchy underpants.

Say some ugly woman  at the bottom of his drive, said you  were the owner, then find out it was his wife.

Wear loads of Camo, but make sure he can see you when he reverses out of his barn on his tractor.

Tell him the farm looks much bigger during the day.

[bumpyjon]

HAHA.  I actually got permission to detect a farm dressed as a Morris man 

[avalon]

HAHA.  I actually got permission to detect a farm dressed as a Morris man 

That's because Wassailing are carried out by Morris dancers, the dances are to ensure the good fertility of crops. 

[avalon]

I did go to a farm once that I had permission to detect on, the window of the farmhouse was open and the car was parked outside so I knew someone was around.

 I walked around to the back of the house where there was a  large  walled garden with swimming pool.  As I walked through the stone arch I suddenly froze as the farmers wife was sunbathing face down in the nude. I quickly went into reverse, disappearing back through the arch  and  made a hasty retreat in my car.

I went back two weeks later and obviously hadn’t been seen, which is more than I can say about the wife. 

[nobby]

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