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Author Topic: Out last night.  (Read 2227 times)
1morecoin
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« on: December 30, 2009, 06:07:13 PM »

Met up with a couple of mates last night, I hav'nt seen one of the guys in a good few years, he has a false leg, he told me that some druggies broke into his house a few years ago, they beat him up and broke both of his legs, he had to have one of them amputated, apparently they whent to the wrong house and beat him up by mistake.
Anyway at the end of the night it was just me and him left, he had been out all afternoon and was steaming, I had drunk about five pints so was allright, we whent to another pub and ordered a couple more drinks, the landlord came over to the bar and spoke to the barmaid, the landlord had obviously had a few on board himself, anyway I heard the landlord tell the barmaid any trouble off him just call the police he's an a**e h**e, well I looked at my mate and he was'nt sure he had heard the landlord correctly, well if you could have seen it, my mate used to be a bit of a lad in his younger days, but 42 drunk with a false leg and a walking stick offering the landlord who is drunk, overweight and about 60 outside you just had to laugh.

I finished my pint and left them to it, I am just glad it was'nt me he was talking to, or the landlord would have been the one wobbling on his legs Grin     
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coleggwent(phil)
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« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2009, 07:10:52 PM »

by the sounds of it steve your mate didnot have a leg to stand on  Shocked Cheesy
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1morecoin
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« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2009, 07:32:54 PM »

nice one Phil  Smiley
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Gadget(Ian)
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« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2009, 07:49:52 PM »

i bet your mate was hoping mad when he over heard the landlord Wink Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
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1morecoin
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« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2009, 08:54:59 PM »

he was so drunk he was stumped at what to do. Smiley
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handyman [Alan}
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« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2009, 08:58:20 PM »

with all that alcohol, it sounds as if he was legless!!


i'll get my coat!
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« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2009, 09:13:00 PM »

he was legless lol
debs
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bymatt666 (byron)
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« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2009, 10:42:03 PM »

i was waiting for the punchline !..... Grin....byron
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« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2009, 10:42:43 PM »

 Grin
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« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2009, 10:46:05 PM »

Lol, Alan. Good Fast Show reference.

 Cheesy  Cheesy  Cheesy
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..
PHIL YNYSBOETH
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« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2009, 12:02:38 AM »

You lot are Sick! lol
 As a Peter cook and Dudley Moore fan i had to post this ..

One Leg Too Few
Peter Cook
The scene is a theatrical producer's office

 
Peter:       Miss Rigby! Stella, my love! Would you please send in the next auditioner, please. Mr. Spigott, I believe it is.

Enter Dudley, hopping energetically on one leg

Peter:         Mr. Spigott, I believe?
Dudley:       Yes Spigott by name, Spigott by nature. (keeps hopping)
Peter:          Yes... if you'd like to remain motionless for a moment, Mr. Spigott. Please be stood. Now, Mr. Spigott you are, I believe, auditioning for the part of Tarzan?
Dudley:      Right.
 
Peter:            Now, Mr. Spigott, I couldn't help noticing almost at once that you are a one-legged person.
Dudley:         You noticed that?
Peter:          I noticed that, Mr. Spigott. When you have been in the business as long as I have you come to notice these things almost instinctively. Now, Mr. Spigott, you, a one-legged man, are applying for the role of Tarzan a role which, traditionally, involves the use of a two-legged actor.
 
Dudley:      Correct.
Peter:        And yet you, a unidexter, are applying for the role.
Dudley:      Right.
Peter:        A role for which two legs would seem to be the minimum requirement.
Dudley:      Very true.
Peter:         Well, Mr. Spigott, need I point out to you where your deficiency lies as regards landing the role?
Dudley:      Yes, I think you ought to.
Peter:        Need I say with overmuch emphasis that it is in the leg division that you are deficient.
Dudley:      The leg division?
Peter:        Yes, the leg division, Mr. Spigott. You are deficient in it to the tune of one. Your right leg I like. I like your right leg. A lovely leg for the role. That's what I said when I saw you come in. I said A lovely leg for the role. I've got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is neither have you. !! Grin
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1morecoin
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« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2009, 03:21:06 PM »

very good Smiley
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« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2009, 08:26:11 PM »

lol thats good
debs
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